Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Coping Versus Moping

I had a radio interview the other day regarding my cancer survival and book.  I always enjoy getting questions because it seems to refine my message.  In other words, it helps me try to delineate what I truly believe.

For example, the interviewer asked me if some people use cancer as a means to draw attention to themselves.  Another way of describing this phenomenon is a "pity party".  Hey, look at me.  I have cancer.  Feel sorry for me.  Wait on me.  I believe there is an old medical term that lists this as "la belle indifference".  A person actually enjoys being sick because of the attention it garners.

I hope this is not my attitude at all.  On one hand, I do have to make an honest appraisal of my physical abilities (or lack of them) since I went through chemotherapy.  I do have some infirmities, e.g. loss of hearing, which I've mentioned before.  In describing the hearing loss, I don't want to make people feel sorry for me.  I just want to know what my life has become.  I can't hear sometimes.  Phone conversations are difficult.  Understanding dialogue on TV shows is difficult.  So, am I trying to make others feel sorry for me by mentioning these things?  No, not at all.  I just want them to realize there is a reason that sometimes I misunderstand conversations.  Dialogues with others are not being ignored.....I just can't completely comprehend what is being said.

Furthermore, even though cancer has damaged me, I don't want to be pitied.  Cancer has opened up doors I never could have imagined.  I've gained new insight into life. As a matter of fact, I've been entrusted with new knowledge, new insights, new victories.  In many ways, I'm a new person.  Life before cancer was so routine and so uneventful.  Now, because of this dreaded disease, life, in a  most peculiar way, has become more glorious.  Oh, cancer, where is thy sting?

I talk more about my cancer victory in my book, "A Place I Didn't Want To Go:  My Victory Over Cancer", which can be purchased at  You can access it online at:

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