Dealing With Neuropathy

Been a while since I've posted anything. Unfortunately, I've had Internet problems so haven't been able to use my desktop computer.

Nevertheless, the biggest issue I've struggled with recently is worsening peripheral neuropathy. I have increased my running to 2-3 times per week for a total of 7 1/2 to 11 miles per week.  However, the peripheral neuropathy is most bothersome when I have to stand for extended periods, e.g. when I have to stand for several songs singing in my church choir.  Hence, when standing, I feel unsteady. As a result, I now use a cane when singing at church. 

Signs For My Times: An Unexpected Blessing

    As I have posted previously, I developed permanent hearing loss as a result of chemotherapy in 2006.  Unfortunately, my hearing loss has gotten worse.  On my hearing test in 2019, I could comprehend roughly 75% of the spoken word.  However, on a repeat hearing test this year, my word comprehension had decreased to about 45%.  Perhaps, this loss was due to aging (I wouldn't think so in that I don't consider myself elderly) or some other reason.   Consequently, the audiologist increased my hearing aid reception to adjust for this loss.  I don't believe I will ever progress to being totally deaf but bilateral hearing aids are an ever present help in my time of trouble.

    On the flip side, at the urging of my youngest daughter who is matriculating to being an American Sign Language (ASL) interpreter (and she's quite good at it, by the way), I am now learning sign language through an online program.  Why you may ask?  It's hard to explain but this education appears to be a fire in my bones that I should learn ASL.  Maybe I'm being prepared in case I ever go totally deaf.  Perhaps I'm being called to some sort of ministry to the deaf in the future.  I do know that using ASL at church when I'm singing seems to enhance my worship.  I feel more engaged in the songs of praise.  So, at least for now, I'm seeing some current benefit.

    This reminds me of Philippians 3:7 where Paul says, "But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ."  Afterwards, in Philippians 3:8 he describes how he had given up some of his greatest achievements in order to gain the "surpassing value of knowing Christ."  How true!  As I've gotten older, I've come to recognize more acutely how life involves many trade-offs.  I labor intensively at work so I can get the bi-weekly paycheck to pay my bills and provide for household expenses.  I go running on the parkway periodically to keep my body relatively healthy.  I visit my healthcare providers regularly who use their skills to poke and prod all aspects of my body to ward off major sickness.  All in all, such sacrifices are worth the benefits in the long run.

    Similarly,  I can relate with my hearing woes, notably one of the greatest losses of my life.  Although it pains me to have diminished audible comprehension (even with state of the art hearing aids), incredibly I have discovered the joy of American Sign Language, a sign for my times. 

Game Changer

    If you know my story, you are aware that I was diagnosed with Stage 3 bladder cancer in 2004, resulting in the removal of my bladder and subsequent creation of a new bladder, a "neobladder" from a portion of my small intestine.  This artificial bladder has served me adequately since my surgery but I've struggled with a persistent issue for seventeen years as a result of this life-saving procedure, i.e. incontinence or leakage of urine, especially at night.  As a result, I've had to sleep wearing an adult diaper practically every night.  

    I've tried a couple of medications to alleviate this problem without success.  At one point, I was put on imipramine (Tofranil) which is a drug used to treat childhood bedwetting.  However, this was stopped after several weeks without providing the desired result.  Within the past year,  another urologist attempted a more modern pharmacological agent, tolterodine (Detrol), but it also provided no help.

    In addition, I've attempted non-phamacologic ways to deal with the nighttime incontinence, e.g. emptying my bladder right before I go to sleep.  Nevertheless, the urine leakage has remained an issue.

    Furthermore, I've had some issues with some urine leakage during the day, making me wear a small pad underneath my undergarments.   Plus, the fear of urine leakage has caused me to wear dark pants only in case I wet my pants even the slightest amount during the day (not quite as noticeable when wearing dark clothes).

    However, in March 2020, I attended a urology seminar to obtain continuing education credits as a nurse practitioner.  During the course of the day, I spoke with one of the urologists and mentioned how incontinence has plagued me for such a long time in spite of several failed therapies.  He mentioned how having an artificial urinary sphincter might be of some assistance to me.

    What is an artificial urinary sphincter?  It is a surgical device with an inflatable cuff that fits around the urethra close to the point where it joins the bladder.  Basically it squeezes the urethra shut so that no urine can leak out.  In addition, a balloon device is placed in the pelvic area and a pump secured in the scrotum to control the opening and closing of the inflatable cuff.  If the patient needs to urinate, he squeezes the pump in the scrotum, thus releasing the pressure on the urethra for about ninety seconds and allowing the urine to flow.   

    Therefore, after pondering this decision for some time (mainly waiting for COVID issues to settle down at my hospital),  I underwent placement of an artificial urinary sphincter on May 20, 2021.  The surgery was done as an outpatient.  I was off work for about two weeks to recover.  The urology nurse practitioner later activated the device about four weeks after the surgery.

    What has been the result?  The artificial urinary sphincter has been an absolute game changer!  I no longer have to sleep with the embarrassment of a diaper.  I only leak a few drops at night (if any).  I do still wear a small pad, i.e. a "male guard", during the day because I sometimes have mild leakage when I cough or sit down in a chair.  However, the incontinence is about 97.5% controlled.  I couldn't be more happy about the results.  

    

    

Eulogy For My Father (There Are No Orphans of God)

         I've been away from my blog for a while due to other issues.  Today I buried my father, Benjamin Campbell, and felt compelled to share my eulogy from his funeral.

            "I’ve thought about this day for many, many years.  Once my father passed away, I knew I wanted to give a eulogy.   However, in giving a eulogy, I’ve discovered how I am so limited in time.

In writing about the life of Jesus, the Apostle John wrote in John 21:25, “...There are many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books which were written.”   In other words, John said he didn’t have the time nor the space to write about every deed or interaction that Jesus had when he walked on this earth.

In the same way, my sister, brother, myself, extended family or even you in attendance could certainly speak for hours about the ways Ben Campbell touched our lives.  Therefore, for the sake of time, I will only speak for a few minutes about my impressions of my father’s earthly life.

But in reviewing his life, I would say that my father lived a life of love.  Not that he would tell you “he loved you” (he was not a “touchy-feely sort of guy”—I think this was the residual effect of being raised without a father), but yet he was a man of many loves.  So, I feel compelled to mention some of the things which he loved and some examples, not necessarily in order.

First of all, he loved the Lord and served Him through His church.  He was saved at a young age, later became a deacon/Sunday School teacher and was an integral part of church committees over the years.  He was faithful at church until his health began to fail.  Yet, a couple of examples come to my mind.  I remember one time when I wanted him to play golf with me but he had to refuse because he was tied up in projects at his church.  One time he spent several hours spraying Round-Up on the pavement of the parking lot at South Roebuck Baptist Church because he wanted to kill all of the grass which was sprouting up on the parking area.  On another occasion, he couldn’t play golf because he had to help unload food from a truck which his church was using to support a local food bank.  Mind you, he was in his eighties but he still wanted to help unload these most likely heavy boxes of food.

He also dearly loved his family and wanted to provide every opportunity for my siblings and I to succeed.  I remember one time we were picking blackberries at my uncle’s house in Honoraville, Alabama and my father tried to make this as easy as possible.  If you’ve ever picked blackberries, you know how these bushes can scratch you with their thorns.  However, what Daddy did was try to mash down the bushes as much as possible so we could get to the blackberries without harm (and hopefully scaring off all of the snakes).  This is a beautiful picture of what he was always doing for us in life, trying to lessen obstacles so we could reach the blackberries in life.

He loved children.  He especially loved his grandchildren and great grandchildren.  He also loved children in our neighborhood as we were growing up on Seventh Avenue South in Crestwood.  I remember one time he was working from his office at home and a couple of girls down the street named Stephanie and Angie would visit him while he was working.  Well, Daddy decided he would make a special treat for these girls so he invented a bubble gum tree.  He took some bubble gum and taped it to a bush so the girls could come by and help themselves to the bubble gum tree.  However, one time he told Angie to get some green apple gum from the tree (it was round and green) but Angie refused saying it wasn’t “ripe.”

He loved pets, especially cats.  As a matter of facts, cats always seemed to find him.  As we were growing up we always had a dog and several cats, perhaps a reason why all of us in our family are so fond of pets.  One of our neighbors even commented at one time how she wanted to be one of the Campbell’s pets based on the love they received. 

 He loved people in general.  I remember him saying how Mama Glenn would give away her last nickel to someone in need.  Daddy was the same way.  He always sought to help people in any way possible.

 He also loved limited foods.   He especially loved peanut butter and watermelon.  At one time, he mentioned he wanted to be buried with some peanut butter at his head and a watermelon at his feet (or vice versa).  In relation to this, he was somewhat inflexible in trying out new foods.  How many times we were embarrassed when we went to an Italian restaurant and he would tell the waitress he wanted “United States food.”

Finally, as you may be aware, Daddy’s father died when he was three weeks old after being stung by countless number of bees while trying to retrieve honey from a tree.  As a result, Daddy’s mother Dovie sent Daddy along with his brothers and sisters to live in the Masonic Home Orphanage in Montgomery to provide their care during the Great Depression.

There is a great song written by Joel Lindsey and Twila LaBar (sung by the Christian group Avalon) which I think sums up Daddy’s life to an extent, how he loved others and how God took care of him.  It’s called “Orphans of God.”

 

'Who here among us has not been broken

Who here among us is without guilt or pain

So oft abandoned by our transgressions

If such a thing as grace exists, then grace was made for lives like this

 

There are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God

So many fallen but, hallelujah, there are no orphans of God

 

Come ye unwanted and find affection

Come all ye weary, come and lay down your head

Come ye unworthy, you are my brother

If such a thing as grace exists, then grace was made for lives like this

 

There are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God

So many fallen but, hallelujah, there are no orphans of God

 

Oh, blessed Father, look down upon us

We are Your children, we need Your love

We run before Your throne of mercy and seek Your face to rise above

 

There are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God

So many fallen but, hallelujah, there are no orphans of God

 

There are no strangers, there are no outcasts, there are no orphans of God

So many fallen but, hallelujah, there are no orphans of God' 

So, Daddy, you may have been raised in an orphanage, but you never were truly an orphan.  Throughout your life, you were surrounded by your siblings and extended family, children and their spouses, grandchildren, great grandchildren coupled with the countless neighbors, church members, and golf buddies who loved you dearly." 

Having A Great Faith

I'm not really a boxing fan (can't understand why someone would want to make a living by getting repeatedly hit on the head) but I did develop some interest when I was growing up regarding heavyweight fighters, especially Muhammad Ali (formerly Cassius Clay).  I'm not exactly sure why I admired him except that he was heavyweight champion for a while, was on television a lot (especially on programs like "ABC's Wide World of Sports") and, of course, he seemed to be a favorite of sports announcer Howard Cosell.  He fought with a certain flair and seemed to back up his persistent bragging about his abilities with results.  He was subsequently called, "The Greatest" and was king of the boxing world in his heyday.

There is something about "greatness" which is appealing.  A restaurant may state it has the "greatest cup of coffee in the world" (I'd like to try that) or Hollywood may promote a film and state it is "the greatest movie in a decade" (Hmmm...I may want to check the reviews first before I venture out to the theater).  Speaking of Hollywood, actor Jackie Gleason was dubbed "The Great One" (he obtained this nickname a little before my time).  Nevertheless, there appears to be some merit, at least in the secular world, of being the labeled the "greatest", whether it be in sports, entertainment or even politics. Consequently, manufacturers are constantly working to provide the "greatest" product for their customers.

Jesus was also touched by the greatness of a person.  Reading in Matthew 8:5-10, 13:

"And when Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion came to Him, imploring Him, and saying, "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, fearfully tormented." Jesus said to him, "I will come and heal him."  But the centurion said, "Lord, I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed.  For I also am a man under authority, with soldiers under me, and I say to this one, 'Go!' and he goes, and to another, 'Come!' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this!' and he does it.  Now when Jesus heard this, He marveled and said to those who were following, "Truly I say to you.  I have not found such great (italics mine) faith with anyone in Israel....And Jesus said to the centurion, "Go your way; let it be done to you as you have believed." And the servant was healed that very hour."

So, when Jesus says this is the "greatest faith", it would behoove us to take notice.  What was so great about the centurion's faith?

First of all, he understood the power of Jesus.  No sickness or situation was beyond His healing ability.  Reminds me of Jeremiah 32:27 which states, "Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?"

In relation to this, he was aware of the provision for Jesus to heal.  He didn't even have to come to his house, lay hands on the servant or be physically present in any way.  Simply saying the word was sufficient.

Furthermore, he was knowledgeable of Jesus's personnel.  The centurion personally had soldiers and servants who followed his commands.  He knew Jesus also had a spiritual army who was ready to accomplish His purposes.

So, perhaps, one of the "greatest" truths learned from a man who had the "greatest" faith, is to recognize Jesus's power and authority to heal cancer or any other infirmity.  Simply saying the word is more than enough for Him to remove this dreaded disease.   

Seeking Relief From The Body Of Death

Do you ever feel like there is something for which you cannot escape or lingers on? I know sometimes a cold or respiratory infection can go on for weeks and weeks requiring multiple rounds or antibiotics and several doctors' visits.  I've heard people say statements like, "I just can't seem to shake this" portraying their frustration with its persistence.

However, some ailments in life can be more intense and more destructive.  In relation to this, Paul makes an interesting statement as he describes the battle between the spirit and the flesh in Romans 7.  In verse 24 he proclaims, "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?"  So, what exactly is a "body of this death?" which had its grip on Paul.  It possibly conveys a most gruesome meaning.  The MacArthur Study Bible says that "...an ancient tribe near Tarsus tied the corpse of a murder victim to its murderer, allowing its spreading decay to slowly infect and execute the murderer-perhaps that is the image Paul had in mind."  I cannot think of anything more hideous and grotesque.  

Yet, that is exactly how seasons and circumstances of life can linger in their destruction.  It could be a failed marriage, a job loss, financial difficulties or loss of health.

Although I have been cancer free since 2006, the effects of this disease and its treatment just never seem to go away.  I still have damage from the chemotherapy with hearing loss, peripheral neuropathy and chronic kidney disease.  Since my bladder was removed in 2004 and a neobladder created I have to stick a tube in my artificial bladder three times a day and am forever a slave to companies which sell urinary catheters.  In addition, I have to sleep with a diaper nightly due to the threat of urinary incontinence.  Furthermore, there is the concern of how to care for myself in latter years, wondering if I will have sufficient assistance when I am old and feeble.  

Hence, similar to Paul, I also feel like I am attached to a "body of death."  How will I ever escape this predicament?  The cure is listed in Romans 7:25 with the glorious news, " Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"  Although life may be difficult in many ways, I know that "weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." (Psalms 30:5)

Some Things Can Wait

I've been extremely busy lately so have been limited in contributing to my blog.  Nevertheless, I had an inspiration recently while running and was waiting for an opportune moment to share. 

Basically, I've been running along Deerfoot Parkway close to where I live for at least seventeen years.  Although my work schedule limits my activity some, I do try to run at least twice a week.  As I've probably mentioned previously, running is a great way to clear my mind and pray about matters with little distraction.  In addition, hopefully this strenuous exercise trumps my bad habits, e.g. loving hamburgers, hot dogs, French fries, etc. and helps me remain physically fit. 

Yet, in all of my years running on the parkway, I encountered an unusual site several weeks ago.  While I was running, I saw a duck and ducklings crossing the road at a leisurely pace.  Mind you, Deerfoot Parkway can be a relatively busy thoroughfare.  However, out of the blue, the mother duck and her young proceeded to cross the road while there was still a good amount of traffic flow.  Seeing this lovely waterfowl family, I feared for their safety as the passing cars could easily turn the ducks into pate'.  Thankfully, the cars on the road stopped for a few moments and let the ducks advance to the other side of the road.  Afterwards, the automobiles continued on their journeys. 

So, seeing the ducks, I thought surely there is some sort of lesson here.  What could these ducks represent?  I struggled for an answer and realized that the ducks could represent a concept which is much needed at times, more specifically, the need to temporarily put life on hold to sort out other issues.  In other words, let the ducks pass.

Consequently, this is applicable in any area of life.  Maybe you want to write a book but are currently struggling with illness or cancer.  It's okay to let the illness resolve or improve, then begin writing afterwards.  It's like being on a Merry-Go-Round.  Just jump back on when circumstances allow or, in keeping with the theme, allow time for the ducks to pass.

Wanting to get a college degree but also wanting to start a family?  It's okay to delay getting your degree for a year or two to have a child or vice versa.  Nothing wrong with that.  Just let the ducks pass.

Furthermore, in any situation, when confronted by a family of ducks, just give them ample time to cross the road and then continue your journey.